The Horse Has Bolted

Enough is enough, journalists have to shut the 'gate'. This has become a case of Gategate. Tonight I heard, in response to a political party's costings being a bit dodgy, journalists had labelled the news as 'CostingsGate'. Really, is that the best they could come up with. I imagine the alternatives were probably AdditionGate, calculatorGate or perhaps Fudging the figuresGate.

However, journalists lack of imagination for their craft is only half of my frustration. Suffixing a term with 'gate' originates from the original Watergate scandal. Younger people may think that this was some massive scandal about the state of water. It was of course, the scandal resulting from the break in to the Democratic National Committee headquarters at the Watergate office complex in Washington DC which resulted in the resignation of President Nixon. Nothing to do with water at all. Or perhaps the whole president standing down thing was just a diversion from a massive water scandal that was successfully covered up. I'll say no more on that, they might be still watching.

Back to journalists. Stop it. If I hear one more gate reference I may well go crazy and the students at my school may have to declare a LoopyGate scandal in reference to my altered state of mind. Here are a few of the many many examples: Tigergate, Monicagate, Utegate. I won't go on, there are hundreds. I will mention my favorite/most hated though. This one refers to two formula one racing car drivers who may have lied about driving to team orders while under safety car conditions. What did they call this "scandalous" lie. LieGate of course.

There are so many more creative things these scandals/interesting blips on the radar could be named, after all journalists are meant to be experts in manipulating the language. If it continues I would support editors around the world instituting a comprehensive YourFiredGate initiative.

A long way from the Galapagos

As Darwin discovered when he jumped off the Beagle and onto the pristine shores of the Galapagos; in nature the strongest survive. Those who are best equipped are most likely to find a mate and propagate, strengthening the species. This may be true for the Galapagos finches and tortoises, but the process of evolution stops in my community.

No other species on the planet actively works against evolution like we do. We support those who can not support themselves. When they propagate, we support them further and the cycle often continues.

As a teacher, what concerns me is that despite valiant attempts to differentiate curriculum the trend in many classrooms is teach to the lower end or, at best, lower middle. Students are coming into secondary school at age 13 with a reading ability of a 6 year old. This might make them the best reader in their home for some. These students can not do the class work at their year level, so the answer is for the teacher to provide work at a level that they can work to. In any given class there might be 10 distinct ability levels. How does the teacher cater to this?

But this is exactly what teachers attempt to do. Heaven forbid a student might find out that they are lacking in some area. We cater to their deficiencies, tell them they can achieve anything and never let them get a scent of failure. At least, that is, until they leave the safety of the school yard and face the real world.

If only someone had got to the Galapagos before Darwin and bent all the shrubbery down for the poor short neck turtles to eat, they wouldn't have had to bother with evolving longer necks. Unfortunately if the shrub bender let them fend for themselves after turtle adolescence they would have starved to death as Galapagos amphibians have a far poorer social security system than in my community.

I have no answer to our anti-evolutionary pathway. Of course we should support the less able, I just wonder about the sustainability of going against a natural process that seems to have done quite well for quite some time.

Come for a ride in my Trabant

Students across Victoria will be rejoicing in the fact that they have a long weekend. Teachers however, will be turning up to work to experience the wonder of the 'Ultranet', for most it will be their first look.
The Ultranet is a fantastic idea, it was even better 6 or so years ago when work first started on it. The dream was for the Ultranet to do all of the amazing things Web 2.0 was offering teachers, but to put it into a safer environment for the students. What eventuated was the online equivalent of communist cars.

The communist leaders could see that transport was a good thing, it was obvious, but sadly not everyone could access this means of getting from one place to another. "We will build them a car" they said, and they set about doing so. What eventuated were the distinctive communist cars such as pictured to the left. These machines were not good. They were poorly engineered death traps. In fact, during the war enemies of Germany considered the cars driven by the Nazi's as allies as they killed so many of their drivers. To say that these cars were not as good as others which could be purchased around the world is quite an understatement, they did however, intermittently, transport people which was of course the core business of the car.

So too, the Ultranet does provide some of the core functions of the wider Web 2.0 toolbox, if you are lucky enough to be online while it is not in the shop with techies looking under its bonnet. The tools are there, they're just more cumbersome to use. In a Web 2.0 car you adjust the seat back an inch by lifting the lever and lightly pushing back until in position. In the Ultranet car you undo the bolts, take the seat out, drill new holes in the supports and then screw the seat back in. Firstly however you'll have to run down to the hardware store to get new bolts as the holes are now a different size. But in the end, you are sitting where you want to be.

It is only early in the production of this model however, and first runs always have some bugs (Did anyone else have the terrible first model Holden VN?). The concern for me is not the current issues. The concern for me is that the automobile industry is innovating at great pace; hybrids, electic cars, fuel saving technologies, emmission controls. So too are the techno geniuses at google and the like. Web tools are already far ahead of the functionality of the Ultranet and moving forward. My greatest concern is how big will the gap get?

No Rush

My school is looking at putting in an alternative program for Year 9's. We have plenty of reasons for this. Our data clearly shows a decline in many key areas of their studies and engagement and connectedness are seriously wanting, among other things. While our data and anecdotal evidence is certainly cause for action, we agreed that it would be prudent to see what the wider research was saying.


What the research was saying was clear. All research that I have come across so far has described a teaching model far different to that which we are currently running. What concerned me most, was not that we were running programs that contridicted the evidence, but that the evidence has been around for so long. I found very little difference in the information from the Middle Years Research & Development project (MYRAD 2001) and Theories of Adolescence, a study by R Muss, (1975).
The above picture is students from Geelong Grammar's Year 9 Timbertop campus in 1965. Has it been working for the for the last 45 years? The Queen thought it was good enough to send Prince Charles there for two terms in 1956. Many other private institutions have significant year 9 programs that offer students authentic learning experiences. I have also found a number of public schools that are starting down this line in one way or another, however many are underwhelming.
So why is my school only just embarking on this mission after so many years and so many studies pointing that way? Unfortunately, it seems to be the Department's modus operandi. How long would a company survive in the marketplace if it ignored best practice for half a century or so? One of my current concerns is the over filtering of internet content for the students. It is my belief that students need to learn to negotiate the full internet experience. It scares me that someone may research literature on filtering in 2060 and wonder why the powers that be haven't been listening for the last 50 years.

Logophobians don't write blogs

For this blog a knowledge of some phobias may be of assistance:
Logophobia - Fear of words
Ligyrophobia - fear of loud noises
Triskadekaphobia - fear of the number 13
Hexakosioihexekontahexaphobia - fear of the number 666
Altophobia - Fear of heights
Phobophobia - Fear of phobias
WARNING: do not read this post if you have phobophobia

It would seem logical that those who were afraid of words would not write blogs, unless they were a touch masochistic. A shame really, I imagine a masochistic logophobe would have plenty to say. I may well be mistaken however and evidence from my own profession of teaching may suggest that it may be more common than reason would dictate.
It strikes me that more and more of my colleagues are going out on stress leave of late. I'm not talking about a couple of mental health sickies here and there. I'm talking long term, bona fide stress leave. Now, I understand as well as anyone the stressful nature of the teaching profession and it is here that my concern sits. Teaching is stressful, that should be no surprise. If you are not good with stress, do not be a teacher. Even more so, if you are not a very good teacher and not good with stress, you should be getting out like a ligyrophobe at an ACDC concert
It got me to thinking how is it even possible. At the time of leaving my previous school there were two teachers who had been getting full pay for a year because, surprisingly enough, things just didn't always go perfectly. Kid's are like that you know.
I can't imagine there being too many accounting firms with a hexakosioihexekontahexaphobe and a triskadekaphobe sitting at home picking up a full paypacket because the sequence of 6's and the pairing of the digits 1 and 3 came up just too often. Or imagine the pilot rocking up to his first day at Qantas. As he boards the 380 airbus looking at his itinery he says, "Oh, this won't do, didn't I tell you about my altophobia, I'm more of a flight simulator man.
No, teacher stress leave seems like a bit of a rort to me. It worries me that I feel that some teachers are starting to factor it into their retirement plans. It worries me, but it's not stressing me out just yet, so I guess I'll be at work again Monday.

Here is a few things that may help keep the stress away, courtesy of teachers index.com
http://teachersindex.com/stress.html

Von Ryan, is that you again

It's reporting time and once again I am setting myself deadlines that I will inevitably fail. I have long been aware of my high level procrastination skills when it comes to tasks such as these. Exactly what I spend my time on during these long periods of distraction sometimes ellude me come the end of another fruitless day. No doubt it's something more interesting like the important task of seeing how many times I can wrap a rubber band around my finger, but this doesn't take a whole day, a mere 45 minutes or so if i recall correctly. My next distraction was, of course, seeing how long it took for the colour to come back to the finger, but I'm young and healthy so this only took a matter of 2 seconds. Then 2 seconds again, then 2 and a half and so on for quite some time.
So where did the time go? I'm not sure but I'm a bit worried that I may have an explanation.
As I put down a thoroughly read copy of the Savation Army's newsletter The Warcry, delivered by Marge and Henry as they went door to door, (It was interesting to hear how Henry is managing with his sciatic nerve and also about Marge's children and grand children. I was only halfway through giving them tips on how to select a good secondary college when they seemed quite anxious to get away. Shame, I had many more questions for them) I noticed that Von Ryan's Express was again on the telly.
I'm not a particular fan of the movie, but I must have seen it at least 15 times. Perhaps not start to finish, but bits and pieces. How is it possible that TV stations could put one interesting, but ultimately fairly average, movie on so many times. A better question may be, why do I watch it when I'm not interested and I have something far more important to do? That is when I had my revelation (cue twighlight zone music). Is it on at all? Is it possible that through years of misery and frustration borne of writing reports my brain has flicked a switch that sends me to a comfortable place. Deluding me, that instead of laboring over a computer to produce reports half of the parents at my school don't bother to collect, let alone read, I am in fact lazying around, content, watching the allies make fools of the nazi's. Kind of like when Bruce Willis thought he was still alive in the 6th sense. He was lucky though, as he was indeed deceased and would not be waking to the waiting pile of reports.
Well end of year reports are only 6 months away and if Von Ryan and his merry band turn up again my suspicions will be confirmed. Having to watch the movie over and over again is also quite frustrating as every time, the brave Von Ryan doesn't quite make it. Another lucky one with no reports to contemplate in his future.
Link to Von Ryan's express review:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0059885/

A rose by any other name?

There has been a worrying trend for sometime now, that I would suggest is now an ugly epidemic within our schools. That being, ridiculously spelt names. Let me give you an example of some that I have come across as a teacher:
Kyren: Misguidingly pronounced- Keer-Ren. What it spells in the real world -Ky-Ren.
Kattie: Misguidingly pronounced- Kay-Tee. What it spells in the real world Kat-Tee.
Fear not however, I believe I have the cure that will slowly erradicate this blight on our collective intelligences. It's simple. Call it as you see it. Here's an example. You are in a shop and the assistant has her name tag on, Karylie. She helps you and you say, " Thanks Karylie (you pronounce it Carry-Lie). She says, "no, you said it wrong, it's pronounced Carly". You shoot back straight away, "No, I'm afraid it's your parents who got it wrong Carry-Lie".
It may be uncomfortable at first, but what is the option. Do we allow people to keep making a mockery of the laws of the English language. Do we allow them to continue to make us feel that somehow we got the name wrong as we are not as edgy or avant garde as them. By them I mean; Cloe, Kyeleigh, Shavaughn and Showvon et al.
I am an educator and surely it is my responsibility to point out to someone if they are either spelling incorrectly, or mispronouncing their own name. I ask you to join me in my quest to de-boganfy the new births pages of papers all around the country. If you do join me, be prepared. Upon correcting someone who has deluded themselves for many years about how their names should be articulated, you may get the retort " I think I know how my own name sounds", to which I suggest something like "be honest with yourself, you do know, but don't worry it's your parents fault not yours. Here is the number for the registry for births, deaths and marriages and if you get me a pen I'll fix up the spelling for you".
Please join me in my misson, if not for me then for Kodeigh, Karynne, Mitchall and Leessa'h etc. With your help they will no longer have to explain themselves to every new teacher, receptionist and telcom provider. They will not grow up to believe their names are normal and acceptable, leading them to propagate this travisty.